4am

4am are for the people with hollow eyes getting drunk on the idea of life.

Twilight hours is not for the innocent children, who dream of toy cars and Princess.

It's for the ill and the loner. Who cry softly awaiting the sun rises. 

4am is for me. Who questions the purpose of being here

Happy Birthday to you.

Working hard and forgetting,
Looking for new hope,
Did you see that?
The light in her.

Maybe it's right now,
The time starts here.
Music played around us,
Happy Birthday to you.

Cry.

Sweet like honey drops,

Bitter like long black.

Innocence was stolen away,

But happiness goes on.

Build a tall wall,

Show the ugly side,

Protect one self strong,

Be selfish and heartless. 

Find the right one,

Else the wrong shall.

Don't have the will,

Build a wall again.

Lock the rose away,

For she can't love,

Longing for the one,

To cry with her.  

Forgotten story

Forgotten story, told by past memory.
Hands around neck,
Eyes shows madness.
Feeling tells fears,
Shortness of breath,
Panic one shall be.
Body push a painful force.
Tears drops, begging for life.
Everything was done,
The one I loved.

*This is suppose to be in Japanese, I wrote this using the Japanese way of poetry. But, I ain't confident on ma Japanese ( Sorry for if this sound racist, trying reading it in a black slang. Yup with all da fingering and shit. ) So, I kinda translate it back to English. Maybe one day it will be on Japanese.

That night.

Early morning bird singing,
Rise it's another day,
Phone goes "ring ring"
Who might it be?

Smell of sweet alcohol,
Mix with happy laughter,
"Sorry, hi it's me."
I shiver with fear.

All eyes on me,
Worried looking ones too,
"are you free tomorrow?"
My heart fall apart.

Sweet vodka hitting me,
Drowning with tired mind,
I stood on tall,
I won't fall again.

Morning air smells dew,
Hot cup of tea,
Regrets is finally shown,
What is the reason?

Hollow eyes with tears,
Shaky fear of abuse,
Picked up the broken,
Fix it with love.

Past linger to me,
Cold wing push me,
The warm nice hug,
Kissed on my head.

Words play strong ones,
Roses can protect itself,
I was always wise,
Love made me blind.

Rumours is a virus,
Past has already written ,
Words did not shared,
It was always close.

Beautiful blue blue sky,
Where could you be?
Confident I have found,
Cause you aren't here.

 

I intend to love you for the longest time.

I remember the goodbye that night
The music left me without a word
What else could I do, I was so naive
And it seems like a far away dream.

Once I thought my innocence was gone
But I know that happiness goes on
That's when you found me,
When you put your arms around me

Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I know this is wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard.

Who knows how much further we'll go on.
Maybe old wounds will open up again
I'll take my chances, I forgot how nice romance is.
I haven't been there for the longest time.

I don't care what consequence it brings
I've been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad, I think you got to know that
I intend to love you for the longest time.

Alyssa Lee

*Note: Love is in the air~

Evil and lovely.

How evil you are,

How lovely you are.

The way you kill,

The way you love.

You are so beautiful,

You are so ugly.

If only you understand,

If only you see.

Never again will you,

Never again will you.

Kill me once more,

Because you've killed once.

Hold me tight dear,

Hold me torture me,

But I'm not scare,

You'll never kill me.

How evil you are,

How lovely you are.

You had your fun,

No time for memories. 

 

“ I've never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. That pain is like an axes that chops at my heart.”
Piscine Molitor Patel, Life of Pi, Yann Martel

Mister Blue.

You're sick, Mister Blue.
Because I know you best.
I don't care if they hate me, so long as you can remember me.

Beat me with those dirty hands,
Betray me so much till I cannot feel pan.
Hurt me with pretty lies,
Hold me till I say "I love you"

*note*

A friend just broke up. Her ex-lover was... I don't know what's the right word for it. Bad? No no, worst than that. He is a liar, he lies to everyone and everyone believes him. He made her pregnant. And beat her up till she needed an abortion. She run away from home when she found out she was having his child; she can't go back home now. Even he have hurt her so much, he didn't gave her anything but only pain. Lie to her over and over again, hurt her over and over again. But she still can say she loved him and still dose. She is so young, only 18. I somehow see myself in her. I pity her, maybe I just pity myself.   

Someone wrote a poem for me.

Today, I checked my email. And someone send me a poem. She/he say they have been reading my blog since I started from my very 1st blog xxxaly. After changing blog over and over again. Deleting everything and started a new. That person have been reading it. At 1st, I find it very scary and I have a stalker with me. But the poem, this person wrote. Change my mind toward them.

You always have a sweet smile.
But time refuse to stop the moment.
There are sad and happy time.
That is life.

I am just a nobody.
To only wish that I have the chance
To make you smile.
I am just too far away.

I first thought that you're a cry baby.
Just a little girl wanting attention.
But soon after.
I found out how lonely you are.

Please stand tall
Wind and rain will come and hit you
But someone the opposite of the world.
Is cheering you on.

As again,
I am a nobody.
I wish to make you happy.
But this is all I can do.

Be happy
Alyssa.

Forever

I'm getting used to be lonely.
The longing for your touch.
Oh, how I miss it.

The night you held me.
When you told me,
"I hope this hug can protect you."

I miss you, I miss you.
There is nothing more I can do.
But I love you.

Did you know that night?
Where everything ended.
I thanked to the heaven silently.

The loneliness and hurt was hell.
The lies and betray was a nightmare
But I will always love you.

I hold myself,
and whisper to myself.
"Forever"

Hello,stranger

I wrote this with the feeling of missing someone. That someone is more like a stranger to me now.

Hello, stranger - you came just in time

I look for your face in a crowd, or in line

Hello, stranger - not a moment too soon
See, that old picture's fading in the drawer of my room
Now memories have gone lost, tears have come loose
There were accidents involving stitches, spill milk
Colors were shown, and one time I got sick
But it's nothing for I couldn't catch up with you.

Hello, stranger - I saved you a place
And it hardly seems strange now that I've seen your face.

blablabla?

When I walk towards the light, all I see are fists fight and piano singing along.
And I found myself with a bottle of vodka drinking happily. I make no sense but I'm sad but yet happy.
I hate the night and I hate the morning. Thank the heaven I can see another day.
Sometime I wish I stop caring, but I be a heartless bitch.

Sorry but I need to go, but who the fuck would want to die alone?
Lying is the most fun a girl can do without going naked, after all everyone loves a big fat lie.
You think passing a fucking exam would make me happy? You don't know me.
Alright guys, this is war. Win or lose, we still wake up.

P.S: So, I have no idea what is this that I have done. Random thought have been running around my head and this what came out.

A friend changed my contact name list & Someday

Today, a friend of mine went to the office around 10am and asked for my phone. She said that her phone was out of credit and she was at Suria. She needed to make a call. So I lend her my phone and go on with my work. About a good 10 min, she gave me back my phone and went off. Around 3pm, I got a phone call and the contact was "Harry Potter". I answered it and it was a friend. Thank god I recognize his voice. After that I checked my contact list, EVERY SINGLE CONTACT WAS CHANGED TO HARRY POTTER AND CHRISTIAN GREY. And my 1st thought was 9gag. I messaged the 1st 20 people and their name are Christian Grey. I got over 200 contact in my list. my friend only changed about half of it. Thank god. And the worst case was, one of the 20 contact is Mr Ex. Good lord, it was so awkward. When he replied my message with his name and I asked him which one cause I have a number of friends that has the same name as him. When he replied, I laughed and smiled like a fool. But after awhile, I wanted to dig a hole and buried myself in it. His reply was "Mr Ex" I only used that name in my blog. I don't know why, but I felt a little happy. I don't know if he is giving me a sign that he is reading my blog or something. But if he is, "Hi Mr Ex! :D"

Anyway, here is a work I did a very long time ago. Fixed it a little.

Title: Someday.


Call me childish, but I know, one day, someday, I will find you, and I will marry you. We will be together after a long time of waiting for this moment to come. In each other’s arms, we will feel the happiness we never felt before. We will love like we’ve never been in love and never been hurt before, just like love for the first time. A love, so fresh, so exciting, with no fear and doubtfulness. I may know you now or may not know you yet, but one thing’s for sure, our love story has not yet begun. I’m typing this nonsense things coming from my innocent mind, using these simple words to explain how I feel, wondering if you’d be able to read this. The day would come, that I’d be walking on the aisle, with everyone’s eyes on me. My throat can hardly swallow as the tears on my eyes are clouding, which slowly drops every time I close my eyes.Tears of happiness flowing, for I can see a blurred vision of you, waiting for me at the end of the aisle. At last, we will both say “I do”.




.

I sang a Song.

I went to party,
Meet up old friends.
Chance to share memories.
But none recognize me.

I said hello Mr.Forest,
But he was hiding,
To my much surprise,
Behind Ms.Potato's shoes.

Ms.Kat came with Mr.Forest,
When I sang Ms.Panda
It time to leave,
Time to say goodbye.

I sang a song,
But none was listening,
Didn't look the same.
That was the end.

The door fly open,
Here comes the man,
Mr Cow B.Good
Looking how he should.

You're going to sing?
I wish you luck
For the heavens love
And me and you.

But if I sang,
That are only memories,
I rather fly away,
I wish you luck.

Lesson of the day,
You can't please everyone,
But it's alright now,
So gotta please yourself.



Note: This is was done 5min ago. Haha, Random ideas are flying around my head now. This poem actually an event happen and yea.. use your most retarded mind to get the idea out. Now, off to work haha. 

  




 

"A desired."

PG 18 below! Warning PG 18 below! You have been warn!



The sweet smell of after rain,
Like honeydew mix with the littlest sour.
The sweet salty smells of his,
Lingers around the rooms.

Those dark shadows walking around the room,
Like a ghost, lost of it's way.
Tinkering his touch,
Like sweet cloud nine.

Thick lips with mixture of whiskey,
Lips so kissable,
Thinking it was a sin.
Loving it was lust.

Time was ticking for it was gold,
Leaving the stress away,
Time was gone,
Leaving only a dream.


P.s : A work my friend and I did a few month back, about last year around November. At that time, I was longing for a companion. And a way to express my feelings. I dare say it's a pretty well done work. It doesn't sound that sexual, but if you have a crazy mind like mine, let your wildest dream play with the words. :) I still haven't give this a title, but I guess I give it a temporary title "A desired." Sound pretty good. My friend said, we might need to fix it up. For it doesn't give out the message, I guess I have to agree with that. Well I guess that's all for today. Good night all. xoxo~