Im damn in both ways

I find it pretty funny that how I always thought that Im doing well. But deep inside me, I am crying. I am not crying about broken relationship or those typical things. But I am crying because of me, myself. It's scary to think that my demons are just sleeping silently, no moment to wake up anytime soon. It's pathetic when I think about it. Im happy but yet Im not. I don't care about anything but yet I do. I don't hate, but I can't forget. Im using simple words to explain this complicated feelings. But no matter what, Im damn in both ways