We always says that life isn't fair. Life is hard. We work so hard but it just ended up failing. We complained how we don't have enough money to make ends meet. We get angry when we know someone is badmouthing us. We get sad when things just go bad. Everything in life is just not good. But we don't see the good in life because we kept seeing the negative.
I am, a very negative person. I am having really bad financial problem, was in a physical and mental abusive relationship, loses hope in everything and suicide thoughts runs around my head all the time. I feel alone most of the time and also feels that no one cares.
I have a friend. I shall call her H. When I met H. She is a workaholic. She is always so hyper, that it's scary. I met her in an event that I work at. I was only a newbie and she was the senior who knows what to do everything. I admired her. Soon after that, I found out she has sleeping problem. She will not sleeps for days and crash for days. I wasn't close to her, so I didn't want to care. I got my own self to worry for I was fighting with depression at that same time. The times fly and I have been working with her for 4 years. After 4 years, we actually sat down and talk.
We started talking at 9pm and till 5am. I found out a sad thing. H have 3rd stage tumor on her brain and her chances was 40/60. I looked at her, I didn't cry. I didn't feel sad, but I felt envy. I envy that even tho she was ill, she kept on living. Doing the best she can before she go. She helped me when I needed help during work, she advise me when I was having a hard time. I envy, because she can still be so positive even tho, she was suppose to be in her lowest.
She said, she doesn't want anyone to tell her "you will be alright". Because it's all fate. Her life is on god's hand but not her, me or you. She have so much faith in god when most people would be blaming god and asking him "why did he do this to them", and she still give me a smile and telling me " Stick with your current boyfriend, you may feel that you are no good. But god made you cross path. He may be the one or he may be a lesson. Do not give yourself self pity. It's not good."
She is leaving for a surgery next week. She doesn't want anyone to cry. All she wants everyone to be positive.
Life isn't fair. But we should count the blessing. The little ones and the hidden ones.
