I made Cheese cake!

So, today I have some time off and I made cheese cake to get rid of the negative energy that I have been collecting lately. Anyhow, hope it turn out alright.

A very simple cheese cake. I used my own recipe so not sure if it would taste alright, if it's good, maybe just maybe I would share out the recipe. :)

A change of plans?

A few post ago, I mention that I want to go to Japan to study. Well, I still want to, but because of some miscalculation and unpredicted event I have to postpone to 2015. So, I still got 2 more year to spend in my home! yay!

Honestly, not too happy about that OTL

Hope

I understand that this world we live in can be a cruel, depressing, and unjust place. I’m aware that at this moment, someone is freezing as they are living on the streets with no place to call home. There is someone who is getting bullied for being gay, ‘fat’, or a ‘nerd’ as ignorance gets the better of men. There are people fighting depression beneath a mask of a smile as their screams for help go unheard. So is it wrong that I still have so much hope for this world and the people in it?

To be honest, I can’t blame those who have lost hope in humanity. We live in society where it’s easy to look into a newspaper or turn on a television set and see that murder, rape, and abuse is all too common. And in our lives, we suffer through these tragedies that break us and our faith. Sometimes, we even see these monsters when we look into a mirror, realizing that it has made a home in you. You feel like you’re part of this unfair place where you’re a chained prisoner surrounded by an inescapable darkness.

So why do I still have hope? Maybe it’s because I don’t think so many people would be sadden or bothered by it if they didn’t have this feeling there is better out there. That life is not suppose to be this cruel, and we will never find this better life if we stop trying. And amidst all the darkness that you try to escape from, you realize there are many people with you trying to fight it too. That good people still exist in this world. That you’re not alone.

Evil and lovely.

How evil you are,

How lovely you are.

The way you kill,

The way you love.

You are so beautiful,

You are so ugly.

If only you understand,

If only you see.

Never again will you,

Never again will you.

Kill me once more,

Because you've killed once.

Hold me tight dear,

Hold me torture me,

But I'm not scare,

You'll never kill me.

How evil you are,

How lovely you are.

You had your fun,

No time for memories. 

 

We all grow up

See that person that’s in front of you when you look into a mirror. One day that person will become a stranger to you. That person will have different interests, different beliefs, different friends, and a different everything.That person may even be buried in the past one day and forgotten.

We all grow up. Most the time, we blame life and the world for constantly changing on us, without realizing that we’re changing with it too. We grow into something unexpected and become a version of ourselves that we didn’t think could exist. And each time we look back at old pictures or recall old memories, we see that you’re no longer that same kid playing freeze tag outside. No longer that person who believed in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. And no longer kid who was just who was excited turning 10 because they finally hit an age with double digits.

Change is not always a bad thing though. We can grow up to become more intelligent and courageous, we can grow up and make new memories with friends that we have yet to meet, and if we’re lucky, we can one day grow up and fall in love. So as the sand pours down an hourglass and as you can hear the seconds tick away from an old grandfathers clock - who do you think you will be when you grow up and look into the mirror one day?

Loudest When It’s Quietest.

The times when the world is at its quietest are the times where I feel like it can be at its loudest. It’s as if my mind fears being engulfed in silence that thoughts immediately rush through my head. Thoughts about life, myself, the past, the future, and even you. Sometimes it can feel like while the world is in a sense of tranquility, I’m trapped alone within an inescapable cell while being bombarded with questions that were meant for the wisest of men that I sadly cannot find the answers too.

And as experiences begin to add up as time swiftly robs us of our youth, more questions are piled on, impatiently waiting to be answered. But how can one person know for certain what happens after death? Or why two souls are not meant to be together when it seemed like so much love was once there? Why does the thoughts in my head insist on asking the impossible, such as the meaning of life, if there are such things as destiny and fate, or if there is truly such a thing as the one.

For me, the world is at it loudest when it’s quietest. But as this internal monologue seems to be missing a mute button, it’s not hard to believe that many other people experience the same problem I do. That when world is at silence, we secretly become philosophers questioning anything and everything - that we’re all yearning for the day when we are able to find the answers that finally makes sense of our world.

Small world

For how vast our world is, it’s amazing how small it can seem when you think about it. It’s odd thinking about how interconnected we are - how similar we are.

For all you know, that stranger you walked past today on the street today without a second glance back could be someone you follow on youtube or someone that follows your blog. That child you saw cheerfully playing on the swingsets as you went past the playground could be the son or daughter of an old forgotten classmate you once saw everyday. That cashier you bought something from could of have already been part of your history, for you could of already had a conversation years ago that has since been long forgotten. For all you know, every face that you see could be connected to you in some way that you will never know about. It could be as simple as you two going to the same concert before to maybe falling in love with the same person at two different points of your lives.

Is it so hard to believe that a song that you sing along to every time it comes on the radio be the same song someone across the world sings to whenever they hear it as well? That the feelings of loneliness, heartbreak, being misunderstood be similar to someone who stays wide awake at night as thoughts swirls rapidly throughout their heads? How crazy is it to think that at this very moment, a complete stranger could be reading these very words that you are reading right now? For how vast our world is, isn’t it crazy to think about how small it really is?